.. if I just try hard enough.And, slowly, my mind re-establishes the order of being in control and keeping me up in the air. I swoop low and laugh at the ground, knowing I have beaten it. I climb back to the clouds ... and the whole thing happens again.Loving Cindy ... being loved by Cindy ... being in a sexual relationship with Cindy ... thinking about marrying Cindy ... all that was like flying. But then doubts would make me fall towards the earth, and I would despair, knowing that what I wanted was impossible ... against the laws of nature.Long story short, I was a basket case.So, ironically, it was left to Cindy to overcome.The only problem with that was that Cindy, while years ahead of her classmates on the emotional stability level, was still a teenager. And teenagers get spectacularly frustrated.Apparently, she saw my dithering as a threat to the princess view that living happily ever after is what is supposed to happen.I’ll just say it. She threw a tantrum. I won’t even try to. I needed to see everything. Then suddenly i had an idea. If i opened the door, to get the best view, she could not tell on me. I mean, who would want to tell anybody that John walked in on me masturbating? I slowly raised my hand to the knob, my fully nude body cold, then i turned the knob. Ever so slowly. Then i swung the door open. "AH shit! John!" She screamed, while she quickly covered her trimed pussy, and swung her arms across her boobs. She also took the earphones out and put them on the bed. And the phone was playing porn. "Sorry it was an accident!" I shreaked. "Why the hell are you naked?" "Umm..." "Oh my God, were you fucking masturbating?" She asked. I replied, "Yes.". "You were masturbating to me fingering myself?" I didn't answer. "Oh shit. Just close the door." She sighed. I ran for her bedroom door, still nude, and closed it. And locked it. "Come here. Sit on my bed." She said, the blankets still.
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